Friday, January 28, 2011

Hello, let me introduce you to the characters in the show

Guatemalan Coffee (A Haiku)
Gross styrofoam cup.
Weak, with a pound of sugar.
Instant and unstirred.

Things that have yet to stop amazing/surprising me in Guatemala:

1) The Carrots. I love carrots, so the first time I saw one of Guatemala's carrots I nearly fell over. They are HUGE. Huge is not even the right word- they are Ginormous. One carrot is enough for at least two meals, if not more.

2) The Acronyms. Guatemaltecos loveee their abbreviations. I mean, so does teh US Government, right, but Guatemalan acronyms are so much more...inexplicable. Take, for instance, my organization, CODEFEM --> Colectiva para la defensa de los derechos de las mujeres en Guatemala. How the hell they got CODEFEM out of that I still can't figure. Another instance? While working on the POS (Plan Operativo Anual- that one's boring) for CODEFEM at our meeting in the capital, the group kept referring to the plan estrategico (strategic plan), but on all the handouts it was abbreviated PLE. I asked every person in the room why the heck there was an L in the abbreviation and no one could tell me what it stood for. Even better, none of them had ever even thought about it before.

3) The lack of urgency (AKA Hora Chapin). Sorry if this makes me an impatient, uptight American, but I don't think I will ever, EVER get used to this. Yesterday I had to go to a COMUDE (Consejo Municipal de Desarollo- another boring one) meeting at the Muni. IT's a very official thing, and they even send out printed invitations, so I have written proof that it was due to start at 9AM. I knew it wouldn't , so I took my time getting ready in the morning and even forced myself to read a chapter of my book to make myself a little later, arriving to the meeting fashionably late at about...9:10 (what can I say, it's physically painful for me to be late. I hate it. It makes me anxious). There was no one else in the place. The community presidents started to drift in around 9:30, 10 and finally around 10:30 they were ready to start. People were still arriving at 11, 12 and 12:30. And don't even get me started on buses that sit for 10, 20 minutes at a time in towns waiting for passengers.

4) The fact that...I live here. Every once in a while (usually once a day, at least) it just kind of hits me- this is my life. Bargaining for tomatoes at the market is my life. Saying "Adios" to every single person I pass on the street is my life. Watching a lizard eat ants above me on the ceiling while I shower is my life. Trashy telenovelas are my life. Spending a weekend on the pacific ocean and releasing a baby turtle is my life. Sometimes it's a This. Is. My. Life. For the Next. Two. Years. thought, and other time it's a "This is my life for the next two years!" but it has not ceased to amaze me that I am actually here, in the PEace Corps, fulfilling a life long goal. Honestly, I hope it never does.

Yup, this is my life:


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

How come you always wind up changing your direction?

Look it up (A Haiku)
Guatemalan means:
completely blind to
the concept of time.

Just another one of those Peace Corps roller coaster days…

LOW POINT: It started off rough, with an early wake up and a sore throat. My room is always pitch black, making getting up at any hour kind of a chore.

HIGH POINT: But things started looking up when I managed to get to the main street right as a bus to Jocotán was passing, and even got a friendly driver, which is always a nice surprise. Because of the easy travels, I wound up at the gas station my counterpart and I had chosen as our meeting spot about fifteen minutes early (we were going to help Marisa, another member of the CODEFEM team, give a charla on Gender Equity), but, as always in the country of “la hora chapina”, I had my book with me and didn’t mind reading for a bit.

LOW POINT: 45 minutes later, I finally called my counterpart, who told me “ahorita voy” (Right now I’ll be there), which I knew was impossible as I heard her children and television set in the background…she lives in the next town over.

I tried to keep my patience, and eventually she arrived and we went to the center where the charla would be held. I was put on camera duty and the activities of the day began.

HIGH POINT (?): I still can’t decide if this should really be a high point, as it’s pretty incredible, but it was funny as hell. Marisa asked the group “What is Gender?”. There was silence for a good, solid minute. Finally she asked one man what he thinks it means. His response: “I think it’s the thread that you make fabric out of”. Someone else commented that no, it was actually part of a hammock. Marisa shook her head a bit and moved on, asking “What is equity?”. A woman’s answer: another word for wardrobe.

HIGH POINT: While working in groups, the women began to chat, and Felipa, a woman from one of my groups, began to tell a story about our trip to the capital for Dia de la No Violencia. The facilitator said “wow, you went to the capital?” and as she nodded in response, Felipa looked like she might die of pride.

LOW, LOW, LOW POINT: After the taller had finished, Rosanely wanted to go the restaurant in town where we have a charla of our own tomorrow. I managed to talk her out of going all the way back to the office, but she she still insisted she needed to go home to e-mail a picture to the central office (which apparently could not wait an hour). So, she went to “quickly” send the photo while I made my way to the restaurant to wait for her. Keep in mind, she went on her moto. I, however, waited a good 20 minutes for a ride from the owners of the place where the taller was to the center of town, where I had to flag down a tuktuk (little bumpy taxi) to take me across town to the restaurant. I sat down outside and, once again, pulled out my trusty book. Twenty, forty, sixty pages later…and still no counterpart. As sat in the 90 degree afternoon sun I started to wonder if maybe I understood her wrong. After all, her house is only twenty minutes away, at most. I called her. When she heard it was me she said “digame”…as if she had no idea what I could possibly want. I mean, why would I be calling her, an HOUR AND A HALF after she left me to run what should have been, at the most, a 45 minute (pointless) errand?? I, quite patiently (I think) told her I was here at the restaurant and didn’t know what she wanted me to do, so if she was expecting me to do it by myself I needed more information. Her response- once again, “Ahorita voy”. Two minutes later I got a call from her- “I have to go to the bank, give me time to do that and then I’ll be there”. I nearly threw the phone.

HIGH POINT: While seething over my counterpart’s complete…Guatemalan-ness, a little girl from the house across the street began to talk to me. Her name was Kimberly, and she was what the Higgins family likes to call an NST (Non Stop Talker). But, she was a friendly, clever NST and had me falling off my rock laughing, from starting off our conversation with “Are you reading the Bible?”, looking at my 900 page book, to her description of her family including the “real big pigs” that live in the house next to them, but always wander into their yard.

LOW POINT: Finally, finally, finally Rosanely arrived. We went to the restaurant, and…dropped of the radio I had been carting with me since the charla that morning, asked the husband to ask his wife to make breakfast for us in the morning, and left. I was fuming. I really, REALLY needed to be there for THAT?

HIGH POINT: I found a quetzal (equal to 1/8 of a dollar… but still a good find on a Peace Corps budget!) on the ground!

We trekked back to my town, where we had a meeting with the coordinator of the Muni’s Women’s Office. Two hours later, it was dark, and I was hot, sweaty, stinky, and tired. I was so excited to go home, shower, eat dinner, and crawl into bed. But, we still had to get everything arranged in the office that we needed for tomorrow. I started to walk to the office and Rosanely would meet me there on her moto.

LOWER POINT: I got to the office. One would think, me on foot and she on moto, she would be there first. She was not. I sat on the office stairs. It was too dark to read my book. Twenty minutes later…she showed up with BREAD SHE HAD STOPPED TO BUY AT THE BAKERY. I got everything arranged in the office as quick as I could, before I exploded, and jetted home.

HIGH POINT: Living in the 90 degree heat with no air conditioning and obnoxious people has really made me appreciate a nice, cold shower. I felt immediately better. Then, I had some of my homemade corn chowder and delicious fresh bread from my favorite bakery, and now am about to pass out…

Until I have to get up, bright and early, and do it all again tomorrow. The way I see it, at least I’m ending on a high point. Wish me luck!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

All you're ever gonna be is mean (and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life, and mean).

Fine. (a haiku)
Dearest Aunt Su-B,
Here is your stupid blog post.
Shut it, por favor.
(ps, this blog title is not directed at you, it's just a great song)

this picture, however, is:

So, although I have no good life updates I am posting a quick blog to stop the torrent of post-a-blog-now-haikus flooding my inbox from my favorite aunt. Life has been completely uneventful because, turns out, we don't go back to work until the 10th (which i did not find out until i went to work on the 3rd, sat on the office steps for an hour, called my counterpart repeatedly and finally received an e-mail from her at 11 that night). So i have literally simply been sitting around. High point of the week: we got new phones! Peace Corps decided to provide us with phones that give us free calls to other volunteers and a certain number of free minutes each month. Unfortunately, this required us to travel three+ hours to Jalapa to pick them up, just to turn around and come home immediately so that we could catch our connecting busses. Other than that, I have been reading crappy books and working on the INFURIATING puzzle my mother sent me for christmas (gee, thanks...). Annnnnnd, that's all!
(Happy now, Andy?)

Love to all-