So damn easy to say that life's so hard

Typical. (A Haiku)
Stove, without gas.
Buy the tank, cord, clamp, and all.
Now, gas, but no stove.

My mom always says, in a (half) joking way, of course, that the feminists ruined it for all of us. That, before they got all indignant, all women were expected to do was stay and home and bake. No long hours stuck in some stuffy office, no heavy lifting, no exhausting yard work. Sure, they had to clean the house, but they had all week to do that. I, being the product of a three-generation, all women household, tended to argue with her about it. I have always been one of those “indignant” feminists.

Guatemala has only recently found it’s feminist side. In fact, the majority of the population (both men and women) still thinks of feminism as a vigorous “down with men” type of attack on the male species. When you ask someone on the street what they think the word means, the most common answer is that it refers to people who think women are better than men.

Needless to say, the feminist movement here is in its VERY preliminary stages. It’s a success if you get a woman to vote. Yes, it drives me insane when we try to schedule a meeting and the women say they can’t come because they have to cook lunch for their husbands. I want to scream when my neighbor tells me she doesn’t travel anymore because her husband won’t let her. In fact, being in Guatemala has probably made me more of a feminist than I ever was back home (who knew it was possible?).

That being said, I have been enjoying the fringe benefits that come with the assumption that I am a weak, helpless woman; the convenient (albeit fairly chauvinistic) chivalry that accompanies the machismo. It’s kind of nice that the bus guys carry my groceries for me, and that I can get a guy to let me have the front seat on the ride home. I appreciate not being expected to carry the heavy floor mats from the meeting hall to the office.

Granted, I would never trade these little conveniences for the undoubtedly more valuable rights and privileges I am afforded as an American woman. I am constantly finding new things to be thankful for- that I never had to question whether I would attend high school or not, that I was never expected to serve the men and boys lunch before I ate, that I got to play sports and other activities after school instead of having to go home and clean the house. But, I must say that when I have a huge jug of water and an even huger hill to climb, and a man comes along and carries it home for me without hesitation, I do have to briefly agree with my old fashioned mother.

Now, if we could only create a future where the death of chauvinism does not equal the death of chivalry… But, we can’t always have it all, can we?

Everything still looks the same but it's me that feels the strangest

Love Letter (A Haiku)
Dear Toaster Oven,
I never thought I could love
an appliance so.

I know, I know, it's been oh so long since my last post, and I'm oh so sorry. To be honest, it's been so long I'm not even quite sure where to start. It's been a pretty jam packed month and a half. And I'm not gonna lie, it's been a bit of a rough patch. I think I've hit the Peace Corps version of a "sophomore slump", or something. I've been in country a year (Official "Guateversary" celebration on August 11th, woo hoo!), so things here aren't particularly new and exciting anymore. But, at the same time, I still don't fit in, and I still usually don't have any idea what the heck I'm doing. I don't feel like I'm doing anything, but things are happening all the time. So, apologies if this post winds up being a scattered jumble of randomness, but I have a feeling that's what it might be, since that seems to be the way of life lately.

The highlight of my randomly jumbled life has certainly been the visit from my (favorite) Aunt Su-B over my birthday weekend. It was great to spend a few days with her (especially since it meant staying in "luxurious" hotels with cable TV and hot showers- what a life!) and show her around Antigua and Lake Atitlan. We spent my birthday at Chichicastenango, which is a town in the Northern Highlands of Guatemala where there is a huge market (it literally took us the entire day to walk through it). Throughout the trip, Su-B couldn't help but talk with anyone and everyone in sight, which meant we were always being followed by people trying to sell us stuff (and usually a few dogs, too), and I think she bought one of everything in the entire country. But, I would have expected nothing less of her and, with the exception of the hundred or so oozing bug bites I somehow wound up with, the trip was a great little vacation, and a nice little comfort from home.

Other notable moments have included a trip to fellow PCV Carmen's site in Santa Cruz Naranjo, Santa Rosa to talk to her youth groups about life in the States, a workshop at the Peace Corps office which, happily, coincided with our 1 year mark in country, and a day trip with some of my San Juan neighbors to a river for a picnic and a swim.

As unproductive as I have felt in my work, I have noticed that more people know me in site, and notice when I've been gone. It's the little things, like the kids in town calling my name every time I pass them, that keep me going.

Su-B buying up the entire country

PCVs Allie, Brynna, and me with one of Carmen's youth groups

Day trip to Las Ventanas, a cute little spot in on of San Juan's aldeas

My House =)

Since no picture I take looks like anything, here's a video instead:

I Thank God For My Life, And The Stars And Stripes

Along came a spider (A Haiku)
Walk into the room...
Holy crap- tarantula!
Shit. Ohshitohshit.

I am not a sissy girl. Bugs don't freak me out. In college I was the one my friends called into their rooms to kill the spiders. But, tarantulas are where I draw the line. Tarantulas are not bugs. They're not spiders. They're MONSTERS.

Now, when I think about it, it's probably a funny story. I had just cleaned my pila (literally climbed inside my pila and scrubbed it) and I was disgustingly sweaty. Trying to take advantage of the running water, which usually only lasts for an hour or so in the afternoon, I quickly jumped into the shower straight out of the pila. Thus, when I got out I had no towel and no clothes to put on (yet another beautiful thing about living alone...). So, i dripped dripped dripped nakedly through my house into my room, went to reach for my towel, and came face to face (almost touched) a huge, furry, fanged MONSTER. After a good, long string of curse words in both english and spanish, I promptly did the only thing I could think of... I called my mommy. She was the exact appropriate combination of appalled and amused, and (after concurring that I probably didn't want to try to kill it- think of the smushing sound and the guts! gross.) she very patiently waited on the phone as I put on rubber gloves and shoes (and, still, nothing else- I was not about to put on clothes and lose track of that thing in the process), gathered a box and yogurt container, squealed a bit more, and then somehow, not so gracefully, scooped the monster into my trap. After more squealing (and probably more cursing) I managed to get myself clothed and carry the whole contraption (tarantula enclosed) out of my house and far, FAR away, where I then chucked the whole thing with as much force as possible and RAN back to the house. Phew.

Really, it's not THAT exciting- most Peace Corps volunteers will run into a tarantula at least once in their service. But I figured I would share so at least there could be some entertainment from the whole event. Also, I would just like to say, Thank God for mosquito nets, otherwise I would never sleep again.

Okay, moving on. Until yesterday's traumatic tarantula extravaganza, this post was going to be about the Fourth of July. I guess Guatemala is changing me a lot more than I think, because not only have I become the girl freaking out about the spider in her room, I've also apparently become the proud, patriotic American. I've never been a fan of Independence Day, and I've never really considered myself proud to be an American. I'm still not particularly proud. It's not like I did anything to be proud of- I just happened to be born in the United States. But living in a third world country has certainly made me appreciate my country more, and spend more time being grateful for its blessings than critical of its shortcomings.

I don't know if it was due to this newfound patriotism, or simply the combination of good company, cheap drinks, and fun costumes, but this was by far my favorite Fourth of July. There was a big celebration for all the volunteers, including a bake-off, raffle (I won a smoothie AND some shampoo- score!), talent show, barbeque (with veggie burgers), and plenty of red, white, and blue. I spent way too much money, and ate WAY too much food, but what better way to celebrate America than to be a little self-indulgent, right?
Happy Fourth of July from Guatemala!

A box of rain will ease the pain, and love will see you through

June (A Haiku)
Pounding on the roof,
Drowning out all other noise.
Rainy season’s here.

Every once in a while Guatemala just totally takes my breath away. Sometimes it’s in a good way, like when the bus rounds the curve in the road on my way home, and all of a sudden you can see my beautiful little town among the green hills. Sometimes it’s in the frustrating way, like when the little kids in front of me on that same bus throw trash out the window onto those gorgeous green hills without a second thought. Sometimes it’s just in the out-of-shape, out-of-breath way (you try hauling a huge thing of water up a steep hill to your house in the pouring rain with sweaty, slipping hands and tell me it didn’t take your breath away).

The point is, life here is a life of extremes. For whatever reason, and I really still haven’t figured out why, here in Guatemala the tiniest victory feels like a world series ring, and even the smallest set back can seem like a fatal blow. It doesn’t take much more than a load of laundry for me to feel accomplished for the day. But it also doesn’t take much more than a burned out light bulb to send me into fits of despair.

The weird part is, I’m not usually that person. Not at all. Back home I am slow to celebrate my successes and rarely sweat the small stuff. It’s a funny juxtaposition, being overwhelmed by little things like washing dishes and grocery shopping while living among (and attempting to address) huge problems like domestic violence, poverty, corruption, discrimination, women’s rights. But, on the bright side, I think that Guatemala has taught me how to be a little more proud of myself, even (maybe especially) for the little things.

Moving on from the goopy, self-reflectiony stuff, the house is coming along pretty nicely. It is still pretty much heaven for me to have my own totally private space. The rainy season has definitely hit full-on and most evenings it rains so hard on my tin roof you can’t even hear yourself think, but I just put my “rain playlist” on full blast (although at times the rain drowns out even that) and enjoy the rhythm. It’s not the cliché “pitter patter” rhythm- actually it sounds more like a band of battling snare drums, but it’s soothing in its own way. My roof in the main room leaks, but since I have no furniture it doesn’t really matter (Aha! An upside to living on the salary of a volunteer). Next mission is a hammock and some mirrors.

Other than that, life is boring (I mean, as boring as a “life of extremes” can be, I guess) and I am counting the days until the big Fourth of July party (8) and Su-b comes to visit (1 month from today!). July has always been one of my favorite months, since it’s got the best day of the year in it- my birthday. The only month that might be better is October for baseball playoffs. And I think this year I’ll have even more reasons to love it so much. I’ll keep you all posted-

the view from my house =) (it's the only picture of the place that looks like anything...)

And I’ve got myself a new mantra, it says: don’t forget to have a good time.

MINE. (A Haiku)
It needs a paint job,
and it's completely empty.
But this house is mine! =)

I know, I know, I’m way overdue for a blog post. Things have been so busy here, though, and not even with anything interesting enough to post about. But, here are the most exciting things that have happened since the last post:

1) I got to go home! Well, not home home, but to New York. Jenna managed to convince me to come home for Memorial Day and surprise Catie and Cash (thus the lack of excited countdowns pre-trip) to stock up on my best friend love for the year... It was such a great trip, and exactly what I needed. Before my trip I stayed with my training family for a couple nights, since they live closer to the airport and I hadn’t seen them in a while. It was so nice to hang out with them again, and Wilson is so big! I gave him a baseball glove a friend from the states sent, and he was thrilled, although all he really wanted to do with it was put it on his head.
2) I got a house! FINALLY. It’s not the fanciest place (honestly, it’s kind of a dump), but it’s mine and that makes it awesome. It’s about a block from my host family’s house, so I’m still in the center of town, but it’s not on the noisy main road. And, the best part is, there are outlets everywhere!!! In my old room there were no outlets, which meant no fan, and nowhere to plug in my computer. But now I have a whole house of outlets that are all mine =) I’m slowly but surely starting to clean it up. My bedroom is coming along quite nicely, but the kitchen is pretty sparse. And a big thanks to my dear mom who has undoubtedly passed on to me her fear of gas stoves. I have the stove, but have yet to get up the nerve to connect the gas. It's too darn hot to cook, anyway.

3) I got a nasty bug bite! I went to the medical office, and I’m not going to die or anything, but it’s still gross: I don’t even want to think about what the bug looked like that made that mark, especially since I’m pretty sure I got it in my house.

In other news, when I got back from my trip I was informed by my counterpart that one of our communities had held their elections for the board of their women’s group. The goal for the year is to get our women’s groups organized and self sufficient, since CODEFEM’s project is supposed to end this year and we would like for them to keep working even if we’re not around. So, electing a board was a big step for the group. Unfortunately, my counterpart reported that at these elections the women had selected a man for the president of their women’s group. I guess we still have work to do.

I have a feeling the next couple months are going to fly by, since we’re already half way through June (how’d that happen??). The end of the month is the big Fourth of July party with all the volunteers in the country, and then in July Su-B is coming for my birthday! I still can’t believe she’s actually coming. AND, I’m officially coming home for Christmas! A HUGE thanks to the Beasty family for their miles! You guys are the best and I can’t wait to see you in six months.

Say I'm like the desert, just way hotter.

Long Day (A Haiku)
Sun burned and Burned out.
In just about every sense
of the word, I'm fried.

Random something I really like about Guatemala: An appropriate response to the question “How are you?” is “I am here.” While it is not always true that I am the typical American response of “fine”, I am, in fact, always “here”.

Random something I’m not so fond of: Guatemalans do NOT know how to wait in line. It is something they just don’t do here. If you are in a public restroom, you literally have to stake out a stall. Seriously, it takes strategy. First you pick the stall you think might free up first (and, just like grocery store lines, without fail you will choose wrong). You then have to basically paste yourself to the door of said stall until you hear the lock start to slide from the other side. This is the tricky part. As the stall occupier exits, you must simultaneously squeeze into the stall, leaving absolutely no spaces between you, stall leaver, and door for any particularly swift stall stealer to sneak through. If you try to take the “high road” and politely stand in line in a public restroom in Guatemala, you WILL pee your pants.

Restroom related rants aside, it has been a pretty quiet month in the East…probably mostly due to the fact that it is just way too hot to even move, much less do anything. April was filled with a lot of normal daily life in my little town. Besides the complete lack of oxygen, air conditioning, or an outlet to plug in a fan, it was kind of nice to have some down time.

The most exciting event has been Semana Santa. Holy Week/Easter here is probably one of the biggest celebrations- I got a whole week off of work for it and everything. Some of the other PCVs and I decided to take a little trip to Semuc Champey, which are natural limestone pools near Cobán. The area is full of outdoorsy and water activities, and we took full advantage. First we did a cave tour by candlelight, which, as the girl in front of me said as we followed Elvis (our tour guide) into the damp, pitch-black cave, was “the perfect opening scene for a bad horror film”. It turned out to be very cool, but probably something I will never need to do again. We also tubed, swam, and explored the pools, which were absolutely beautiful. It was quite the nice little vacation, and the best part was coming home to pouringggg rain for the first time in a month! The true Seattle girl that I am, it was a very welcome sight.

Now it’s back to quiet small town life… at least until the next adventure =)

Semuc Champey: