So damn easy to say that life's so hard

Typical. (A Haiku)
Stove, without gas.
Buy the tank, cord, clamp, and all.
Now, gas, but no stove.

My mom always says, in a (half) joking way, of course, that the feminists ruined it for all of us. That, before they got all indignant, all women were expected to do was stay and home and bake. No long hours stuck in some stuffy office, no heavy lifting, no exhausting yard work. Sure, they had to clean the house, but they had all week to do that. I, being the product of a three-generation, all women household, tended to argue with her about it. I have always been one of those “indignant” feminists.

Guatemala has only recently found it’s feminist side. In fact, the majority of the population (both men and women) still thinks of feminism as a vigorous “down with men” type of attack on the male species. When you ask someone on the street what they think the word means, the most common answer is that it refers to people who think women are better than men.

Needless to say, the feminist movement here is in its VERY preliminary stages. It’s a success if you get a woman to vote. Yes, it drives me insane when we try to schedule a meeting and the women say they can’t come because they have to cook lunch for their husbands. I want to scream when my neighbor tells me she doesn’t travel anymore because her husband won’t let her. In fact, being in Guatemala has probably made me more of a feminist than I ever was back home (who knew it was possible?).

That being said, I have been enjoying the fringe benefits that come with the assumption that I am a weak, helpless woman; the convenient (albeit fairly chauvinistic) chivalry that accompanies the machismo. It’s kind of nice that the bus guys carry my groceries for me, and that I can get a guy to let me have the front seat on the ride home. I appreciate not being expected to carry the heavy floor mats from the meeting hall to the office.

Granted, I would never trade these little conveniences for the undoubtedly more valuable rights and privileges I am afforded as an American woman. I am constantly finding new things to be thankful for- that I never had to question whether I would attend high school or not, that I was never expected to serve the men and boys lunch before I ate, that I got to play sports and other activities after school instead of having to go home and clean the house. But, I must say that when I have a huge jug of water and an even huger hill to climb, and a man comes along and carries it home for me without hesitation, I do have to briefly agree with my old fashioned mother.

Now, if we could only create a future where the death of chauvinism does not equal the death of chivalry… But, we can’t always have it all, can we?

Everything still looks the same but it's me that feels the strangest

Love Letter (A Haiku)
Dear Toaster Oven,
I never thought I could love
an appliance so.

I know, I know, it's been oh so long since my last post, and I'm oh so sorry. To be honest, it's been so long I'm not even quite sure where to start. It's been a pretty jam packed month and a half. And I'm not gonna lie, it's been a bit of a rough patch. I think I've hit the Peace Corps version of a "sophomore slump", or something. I've been in country a year (Official "Guateversary" celebration on August 11th, woo hoo!), so things here aren't particularly new and exciting anymore. But, at the same time, I still don't fit in, and I still usually don't have any idea what the heck I'm doing. I don't feel like I'm doing anything, but things are happening all the time. So, apologies if this post winds up being a scattered jumble of randomness, but I have a feeling that's what it might be, since that seems to be the way of life lately.

The highlight of my randomly jumbled life has certainly been the visit from my (favorite) Aunt Su-B over my birthday weekend. It was great to spend a few days with her (especially since it meant staying in "luxurious" hotels with cable TV and hot showers- what a life!) and show her around Antigua and Lake Atitlan. We spent my birthday at Chichicastenango, which is a town in the Northern Highlands of Guatemala where there is a huge market (it literally took us the entire day to walk through it). Throughout the trip, Su-B couldn't help but talk with anyone and everyone in sight, which meant we were always being followed by people trying to sell us stuff (and usually a few dogs, too), and I think she bought one of everything in the entire country. But, I would have expected nothing less of her and, with the exception of the hundred or so oozing bug bites I somehow wound up with, the trip was a great little vacation, and a nice little comfort from home.

Other notable moments have included a trip to fellow PCV Carmen's site in Santa Cruz Naranjo, Santa Rosa to talk to her youth groups about life in the States, a workshop at the Peace Corps office which, happily, coincided with our 1 year mark in country, and a day trip with some of my San Juan neighbors to a river for a picnic and a swim.

As unproductive as I have felt in my work, I have noticed that more people know me in site, and notice when I've been gone. It's the little things, like the kids in town calling my name every time I pass them, that keep me going.

Su-B buying up the entire country

PCVs Allie, Brynna, and me with one of Carmen's youth groups

Day trip to Las Ventanas, a cute little spot in on of San Juan's aldeas