And I’ve got myself a new mantra, it says: don’t forget to have a good time.

MINE. (A Haiku)
It needs a paint job,
and it's completely empty.
But this house is mine! =)

I know, I know, I’m way overdue for a blog post. Things have been so busy here, though, and not even with anything interesting enough to post about. But, here are the most exciting things that have happened since the last post:

1) I got to go home! Well, not home home, but to New York. Jenna managed to convince me to come home for Memorial Day and surprise Catie and Cash (thus the lack of excited countdowns pre-trip) to stock up on my best friend love for the year... It was such a great trip, and exactly what I needed. Before my trip I stayed with my training family for a couple nights, since they live closer to the airport and I hadn’t seen them in a while. It was so nice to hang out with them again, and Wilson is so big! I gave him a baseball glove a friend from the states sent, and he was thrilled, although all he really wanted to do with it was put it on his head.
2) I got a house! FINALLY. It’s not the fanciest place (honestly, it’s kind of a dump), but it’s mine and that makes it awesome. It’s about a block from my host family’s house, so I’m still in the center of town, but it’s not on the noisy main road. And, the best part is, there are outlets everywhere!!! In my old room there were no outlets, which meant no fan, and nowhere to plug in my computer. But now I have a whole house of outlets that are all mine =) I’m slowly but surely starting to clean it up. My bedroom is coming along quite nicely, but the kitchen is pretty sparse. And a big thanks to my dear mom who has undoubtedly passed on to me her fear of gas stoves. I have the stove, but have yet to get up the nerve to connect the gas. It's too darn hot to cook, anyway.

3) I got a nasty bug bite! I went to the medical office, and I’m not going to die or anything, but it’s still gross: I don’t even want to think about what the bug looked like that made that mark, especially since I’m pretty sure I got it in my house.

In other news, when I got back from my trip I was informed by my counterpart that one of our communities had held their elections for the board of their women’s group. The goal for the year is to get our women’s groups organized and self sufficient, since CODEFEM’s project is supposed to end this year and we would like for them to keep working even if we’re not around. So, electing a board was a big step for the group. Unfortunately, my counterpart reported that at these elections the women had selected a man for the president of their women’s group. I guess we still have work to do.

I have a feeling the next couple months are going to fly by, since we’re already half way through June (how’d that happen??). The end of the month is the big Fourth of July party with all the volunteers in the country, and then in July Su-B is coming for my birthday! I still can’t believe she’s actually coming. AND, I’m officially coming home for Christmas! A HUGE thanks to the Beasty family for their miles! You guys are the best and I can’t wait to see you in six months.

Say I'm like the desert, just way hotter.

Long Day (A Haiku)
Sun burned and Burned out.
In just about every sense
of the word, I'm fried.

Random something I really like about Guatemala: An appropriate response to the question “How are you?” is “I am here.” While it is not always true that I am the typical American response of “fine”, I am, in fact, always “here”.

Random something I’m not so fond of: Guatemalans do NOT know how to wait in line. It is something they just don’t do here. If you are in a public restroom, you literally have to stake out a stall. Seriously, it takes strategy. First you pick the stall you think might free up first (and, just like grocery store lines, without fail you will choose wrong). You then have to basically paste yourself to the door of said stall until you hear the lock start to slide from the other side. This is the tricky part. As the stall occupier exits, you must simultaneously squeeze into the stall, leaving absolutely no spaces between you, stall leaver, and door for any particularly swift stall stealer to sneak through. If you try to take the “high road” and politely stand in line in a public restroom in Guatemala, you WILL pee your pants.

Restroom related rants aside, it has been a pretty quiet month in the East…probably mostly due to the fact that it is just way too hot to even move, much less do anything. April was filled with a lot of normal daily life in my little town. Besides the complete lack of oxygen, air conditioning, or an outlet to plug in a fan, it was kind of nice to have some down time.

The most exciting event has been Semana Santa. Holy Week/Easter here is probably one of the biggest celebrations- I got a whole week off of work for it and everything. Some of the other PCVs and I decided to take a little trip to Semuc Champey, which are natural limestone pools near Cobán. The area is full of outdoorsy and water activities, and we took full advantage. First we did a cave tour by candlelight, which, as the girl in front of me said as we followed Elvis (our tour guide) into the damp, pitch-black cave, was “the perfect opening scene for a bad horror film”. It turned out to be very cool, but probably something I will never need to do again. We also tubed, swam, and explored the pools, which were absolutely beautiful. It was quite the nice little vacation, and the best part was coming home to pouringggg rain for the first time in a month! The true Seattle girl that I am, it was a very welcome sight.

Now it’s back to quiet small town life… at least until the next adventure =)

Semuc Champey:

Out of here, we're out of here, out of heartache along with fear

Lazy (A Haiku)
Sleeping in, movies,
Needlepoint, reading, reading,
More reading, and bed.

Things that I miss more than I expected to:

1) Washing machines.
It still amazes me just how exhausting washing clothes in the pila really is. And I swear, I’m not just being a baby. Volunteers who give nutrition charlas often include doing laundry as a form of exercise. Not only is it hard work, the clothes never seem as clean as at home. Every time I’m scrubbing away (half cleaning, half destroying my clothes…) I find myself giving thanks that I have only my own clothes to wash, and not a husband, five children, and probably a couple of grandchildren’s worth of dirty laundry, like most women here. I’m reading an extremely cheesy light read about a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ecuador, and she describes her revelation that “life in America was the aberration”, and that “barefoot and soily, among animals, in a forced intimacy with the earth- this was how most of the people on this planet lived”. As silly as I feel taking life lessons from a semi-trashy story of “How a Peace Corps Poster By Won my Heart” (you can’t make this stuff up), it does hit me every once in a while how luxurious our life in the states really is compared to most of the world. Especially when you consider that my pila using, cold water showering, giant spiders and ants in the kitchen life here is, in comparison to most of the country, pretty darn high class.

2) TARGET.
Okay, not such a shocker for anyone who knows how much I truly love this heaven in the form of a store (the cashiers at the one by my house probably wonder where I’ve gone…), but seriously. If they can get satellite TV and Walmart owned supermarkets here, shouldn’t they be able to get one little Target? Granted, I have found that the “Super Paca” is a pretty good substitution (especially since Target seems to ship most of its unsold clothing to Guatemala…who would’ve thunk?) and it’s not like my volunteer salary would allow for many Target trips, but it is still a comfort from home that I have definitely found myself craving on more than one occasion.

3) Walking around the house without shoes.
I have never been a shoe person. Really, I’ve never been much an any type of clothing thing; I’m pretty sure I would make a superb nudist, except then I would have no reason to go shopping, and if #2 on this list gives you any indication, I’m sure you can guess how well that would go over. But shoes, especially, are something I never, ever wore at home. Here, if you don’t wear shoes you not only wind up dragging all sorts of dirt and god knows what else into your bed at the end of the day (requiring yet MORE pila-washing, and sheets are the WORST to do), but you also risk stepping in or on anything from chicken poop to a scorpion. Needless to say, no matter how integrated or comfortable I get here, I will not be walking barefoot at any point.

4) Cheese.
I think that probably had I known that I would more or less be going completely without cheese for the next two years, I would have expected to miss it. But it really never occurred to me that I might encounter such a tragedy. For whatever reason (I still haven’t found anyone that can explain it to me), cheese is pretty much the most expensive food in the grocery store- with the exception of peanut butter and slightly obscure foods like canned artichoke hearts. Granted, they do have cheap and readily available “Campo Cheese” here, which is delicious but usually does a number on the stomach and is also more like a dip than the kind of cheese you can put on a sandwich or in mac and cheese. I have literally sat with other volunteers talking about what we wouldn’t give for a nice block of cheddar cheese.

I’m sure the list could go on and on, as there are probably one or two things every day I find myself wishing they had in Guatemala (non-stick frying pans, carpets, baseball fields…), but when all is said and done, there’s nothing I’ve had to go without that has really, truly affected my life. I mean, sure, wouldn’t it be convenient if I did have a washing machine I could throw a load into on Sundays like I did at home? But (and maybe it’s just the 7 months of living here I have under my belt taking), it certainly hasn’t been a major, life changing adjustment to have to do my laundry by hand. I’m sure I’ll go home in two years and be completely overwhelmed by the realization of exactly how completely different my life really is here, but the point is, for now I’m pretty darn happy in my cheese-and Target-less, perpetually shoed life here =)

Always know that i would find a way to get to where you are

February (A Haiku)
Spring Training started
Reconnect and Mom Visit
The best month ever!

Well, February was quite the month and to be completely honest I'm having a hard time remembering what went on the beginning of the month. The first two weeks were full of work and anticipation- I'm sure everyone here was sick of me talking about my mom coming. Right before she got here we had reconnect, celebrating my group's six month anniversary of being in Guatemala (yes, I have officially been here HALF A YEAR already...weird) and giving us a time to "reflect and share" about our first three months in site (BARF- but it was also a good excuse to see my group and have lots of grand adventures in Antigua (inculding Secret Valentines and an "Ugly Paca Party", rules being you could only wear things bought at the Guatemalan second hand stores, called Pacas).

Then, finally, FINALLY, FINALLY Mom got here and we spent a grand (but far too short) two weeks travelling around Guatemala and (of course) entertaining each other. In case any of you forgot, we are SO FUNNY. The trip started in Antigua, where we visited my training host family and Mom got to meet Wilson and all the others. I think my family was truly pleased I brought her to meet them, and we wound up staying the whole afternoon playing with all the presents Mom brought from the states. We also did some of the tourist things in the area, including the Cerro de la Cruz and the artisan market. Then we headed to Lake Atitlan, boated all around and bought about 25 scarfs (it might be an addiction). From there we spent a very long, long day traveling to the East and my site, where we spent three days crowded into my little mosquito-netted bed, traveling to the Mayan ruins in Copán, Honduras and El Cristo Negro in Esquipulas and doing a pain in the ass jigsaw puzzle by night. From there we bussed to Rio Dulce, Livingston, and Puerto Barrios which all felt like a combination of the old fashioned deep south and some kind of exotic Amazonian adventure. Then we trekked it allllll the way back to Guatemala City for the night, where we camped out in front of the big screen TV at the oh-so-fancy Howard Johnson (that's serious luxury here in Guatemala) and, early the next morning, Mom went off to the airport (BOO) and I headed home. It was a great trip, and so SO good to see her finallyyyyy.

Wilson showing off the cars Su-B sent him
At the Cerro de la Cruz
Lake Atitlan
The ruins at Copán
Our hotel at Rio Dulce

Hello, let me introduce you to the characters in the show

Guatemalan Coffee (A Haiku)
Gross styrofoam cup.
Weak, with a pound of sugar.
Instant and unstirred.

Things that have yet to stop amazing/surprising me in Guatemala:

1) The Carrots. I love carrots, so the first time I saw one of Guatemala's carrots I nearly fell over. They are HUGE. Huge is not even the right word- they are Ginormous. One carrot is enough for at least two meals, if not more.

2) The Acronyms. Guatemaltecos loveee their abbreviations. I mean, so does teh US Government, right, but Guatemalan acronyms are so much more...inexplicable. Take, for instance, my organization, CODEFEM --> Colectiva para la defensa de los derechos de las mujeres en Guatemala. How the hell they got CODEFEM out of that I still can't figure. Another instance? While working on the POS (Plan Operativo Anual- that one's boring) for CODEFEM at our meeting in the capital, the group kept referring to the plan estrategico (strategic plan), but on all the handouts it was abbreviated PLE. I asked every person in the room why the heck there was an L in the abbreviation and no one could tell me what it stood for. Even better, none of them had ever even thought about it before.

3) The lack of urgency (AKA Hora Chapin). Sorry if this makes me an impatient, uptight American, but I don't think I will ever, EVER get used to this. Yesterday I had to go to a COMUDE (Consejo Municipal de Desarollo- another boring one) meeting at the Muni. IT's a very official thing, and they even send out printed invitations, so I have written proof that it was due to start at 9AM. I knew it wouldn't , so I took my time getting ready in the morning and even forced myself to read a chapter of my book to make myself a little later, arriving to the meeting fashionably late at about...9:10 (what can I say, it's physically painful for me to be late. I hate it. It makes me anxious). There was no one else in the place. The community presidents started to drift in around 9:30, 10 and finally around 10:30 they were ready to start. People were still arriving at 11, 12 and 12:30. And don't even get me started on buses that sit for 10, 20 minutes at a time in towns waiting for passengers.

4) The fact that...I live here. Every once in a while (usually once a day, at least) it just kind of hits me- this is my life. Bargaining for tomatoes at the market is my life. Saying "Adios" to every single person I pass on the street is my life. Watching a lizard eat ants above me on the ceiling while I shower is my life. Trashy telenovelas are my life. Spending a weekend on the pacific ocean and releasing a baby turtle is my life. Sometimes it's a This. Is. My. Life. For the Next. Two. Years. thought, and other time it's a "This is my life for the next two years!" but it has not ceased to amaze me that I am actually here, in the PEace Corps, fulfilling a life long goal. Honestly, I hope it never does.

Yup, this is my life:

How come you always wind up changing your direction?

Look it up (A Haiku)
Guatemalan means:
completely blind to
the concept of time.

Just another one of those Peace Corps roller coaster days…

LOW POINT: It started off rough, with an early wake up and a sore throat. My room is always pitch black, making getting up at any hour kind of a chore.

HIGH POINT: But things started looking up when I managed to get to the main street right as a bus to Jocotán was passing, and even got a friendly driver, which is always a nice surprise. Because of the easy travels, I wound up at the gas station my counterpart and I had chosen as our meeting spot about fifteen minutes early (we were going to help Marisa, another member of the CODEFEM team, give a charla on Gender Equity), but, as always in the country of “la hora chapina”, I had my book with me and didn’t mind reading for a bit.

LOW POINT: 45 minutes later, I finally called my counterpart, who told me “ahorita voy” (Right now I’ll be there), which I knew was impossible as I heard her children and television set in the background…she lives in the next town over.

I tried to keep my patience, and eventually she arrived and we went to the center where the charla would be held. I was put on camera duty and the activities of the day began.

HIGH POINT (?): I still can’t decide if this should really be a high point, as it’s pretty incredible, but it was funny as hell. Marisa asked the group “What is Gender?”. There was silence for a good, solid minute. Finally she asked one man what he thinks it means. His response: “I think it’s the thread that you make fabric out of”. Someone else commented that no, it was actually part of a hammock. Marisa shook her head a bit and moved on, asking “What is equity?”. A woman’s answer: another word for wardrobe.

HIGH POINT: While working in groups, the women began to chat, and Felipa, a woman from one of my groups, began to tell a story about our trip to the capital for Dia de la No Violencia. The facilitator said “wow, you went to the capital?” and as she nodded in response, Felipa looked like she might die of pride.

LOW, LOW, LOW POINT: After the taller had finished, Rosanely wanted to go the restaurant in town where we have a charla of our own tomorrow. I managed to talk her out of going all the way back to the office, but she she still insisted she needed to go home to e-mail a picture to the central office (which apparently could not wait an hour). So, she went to “quickly” send the photo while I made my way to the restaurant to wait for her. Keep in mind, she went on her moto. I, however, waited a good 20 minutes for a ride from the owners of the place where the taller was to the center of town, where I had to flag down a tuktuk (little bumpy taxi) to take me across town to the restaurant. I sat down outside and, once again, pulled out my trusty book. Twenty, forty, sixty pages later…and still no counterpart. As sat in the 90 degree afternoon sun I started to wonder if maybe I understood her wrong. After all, her house is only twenty minutes away, at most. I called her. When she heard it was me she said “digame”…as if she had no idea what I could possibly want. I mean, why would I be calling her, an HOUR AND A HALF after she left me to run what should have been, at the most, a 45 minute (pointless) errand?? I, quite patiently (I think) told her I was here at the restaurant and didn’t know what she wanted me to do, so if she was expecting me to do it by myself I needed more information. Her response- once again, “Ahorita voy”. Two minutes later I got a call from her- “I have to go to the bank, give me time to do that and then I’ll be there”. I nearly threw the phone.

HIGH POINT: While seething over my counterpart’s complete…Guatemalan-ness, a little girl from the house across the street began to talk to me. Her name was Kimberly, and she was what the Higgins family likes to call an NST (Non Stop Talker). But, she was a friendly, clever NST and had me falling off my rock laughing, from starting off our conversation with “Are you reading the Bible?”, looking at my 900 page book, to her description of her family including the “real big pigs” that live in the house next to them, but always wander into their yard.

LOW POINT: Finally, finally, finally Rosanely arrived. We went to the restaurant, and…dropped of the radio I had been carting with me since the charla that morning, asked the husband to ask his wife to make breakfast for us in the morning, and left. I was fuming. I really, REALLY needed to be there for THAT?

HIGH POINT: I found a quetzal (equal to 1/8 of a dollar… but still a good find on a Peace Corps budget!) on the ground!

We trekked back to my town, where we had a meeting with the coordinator of the Muni’s Women’s Office. Two hours later, it was dark, and I was hot, sweaty, stinky, and tired. I was so excited to go home, shower, eat dinner, and crawl into bed. But, we still had to get everything arranged in the office that we needed for tomorrow. I started to walk to the office and Rosanely would meet me there on her moto.

LOWER POINT: I got to the office. One would think, me on foot and she on moto, she would be there first. She was not. I sat on the office stairs. It was too dark to read my book. Twenty minutes later…she showed up with BREAD SHE HAD STOPPED TO BUY AT THE BAKERY. I got everything arranged in the office as quick as I could, before I exploded, and jetted home.

HIGH POINT: Living in the 90 degree heat with no air conditioning and obnoxious people has really made me appreciate a nice, cold shower. I felt immediately better. Then, I had some of my homemade corn chowder and delicious fresh bread from my favorite bakery, and now am about to pass out…

Until I have to get up, bright and early, and do it all again tomorrow. The way I see it, at least I’m ending on a high point. Wish me luck!

All you're ever gonna be is mean (and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life, and mean).

Fine. (a haiku)
Dearest Aunt Su-B,
Here is your stupid blog post.
Shut it, por favor.
(ps, this blog title is not directed at you, it's just a great song)

this picture, however, is:

So, although I have no good life updates I am posting a quick blog to stop the torrent of post-a-blog-now-haikus flooding my inbox from my favorite aunt. Life has been completely uneventful because, turns out, we don't go back to work until the 10th (which i did not find out until i went to work on the 3rd, sat on the office steps for an hour, called my counterpart repeatedly and finally received an e-mail from her at 11 that night). So i have literally simply been sitting around. High point of the week: we got new phones! Peace Corps decided to provide us with phones that give us free calls to other volunteers and a certain number of free minutes each month. Unfortunately, this required us to travel three+ hours to Jalapa to pick them up, just to turn around and come home immediately so that we could catch our connecting busses. Other than that, I have been reading crappy books and working on the INFURIATING puzzle my mother sent me for christmas (gee, thanks...). Annnnnnd, that's all!
(Happy now, Andy?)

Love to all-